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Taming the Little Monster: Robert Jergen Talks about ADHD

The title of Robert Jergen’s book, The Little Monster, stems from his parents’ frustration with Robert’s impulsive behaviors as a child. “Give me strength!” his mother would say. They didn’t know it, but Robert had ADHD.

“I love having ADHD,” Robert said in a recent address at the statewide Institute on Best Practices on Inclusive Education in Wausau. “I hope my kid has it.”

Parents with a child who has ADHD might wonder why anyone would want to live with it. Robert says there are many positive aspects to having ADHD. You can be creative and funny: Robin Williams and Jim Carey both have ADHD. You can be hyper-productive: Robert wrote his book in 4 weeks and earned his PhD in half the usual time. He says if you can harness the energy of ADHD, it can be a remarkable gift.

Before he was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, Robert struggled with depression, which stemmed in part from extreme feelings of being different, being alone and never being able to measure up. By 8th grade, he had attempted suicide twice.

To help kids avoid some of feelings he faced, Robert advocates helping kids build strategies for self-acceptance. First, teach them what ADHD is. “The best day of my life was when I found out I had ADHD. I realized I wasn’t alone. I came to understand myself through the information about ADHD.”

Second, help them network with other ADHDers. A feeling of connectedness will overcome some of the feelings of isolation. Your child can vent to people who’ve been there, and can learn strategies from others. Talk to your school counselor about running a support group. Try online discussion groups, such as CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) at www.chadd.org.

Third, reward trying and perseverance, not grades or social standing.

Finally, he says, don’t let ADHD become an excuse for poor behavior or performance. “If you screw up, you need to learn to apologize. If you fail a test, you need to figure out ways to improve.”

Robert had several tips for creating an effective learning environment:

Avoid harsh lights. Use a full-spectrum light, not fluorescent lights (Robert can not only hear those lights, but can feel them vibrating).
Create a non-distracting environment. A dark room (e.g., teal walls) with a desk lamp pointing to the task at hand can act as a cue to draw attention back to what needs to be done (homework!). Don’t expect your child to do homework at the kitchen table, where there are loads of distractions.
Intermittent sounds can be distracting. Your child’s room doesn’t need to be quiet, but the sounds should be consistent. So a calming music CD is fine, but a creaky chair will be distracting. Put a pillow on the chair to stop the creaking sounds; put tennis balls on the legs of the chair to avoid a scraping sound on the floor when the chair is moved. Earplugs or headsets help lessen distractions for some people.
Pay attention to positioning. Keep the stimuli in front of the child. Use a long table or two desks, with one space for working and the other for supplies. This keeps the distracting clutter out of the line of vision. And speaking of clutter, don’t worry about the mess in his/her room as long as the work is getting done.
Be open to alternatives to sitting at a desk. For Robert, sitting is hard. He suggests kneeling at a lowered desk or even kneeling with a book on the bed, standing at a drafting table, or sitting on a yoga ball.

What works for one child won’t necessarily work for others. You’ll need to experiment and be willing to try different approaches. Ask your child, “Where do you feel comfortable? What can help you focus?”

What’s the bottom line? Robert says, “The end goal is having a child who is happy with who he or she is.”

For more information on ADHD, visit the website for the National Attention Deficit Organization at www.adda.org. Robert’s book, The Little Monster: Growing Up with ADHD is available at bookstores and online.